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Who says static is just for AM radio?
Not the Woldfeld family of Vista View, California. Contractor and amateur inventor Arnold Woldfeld has just completed construction of a new home for his family, complete with a thick wool carpet and strategically located touch plates.
"I just couldn't get past the idea that we were wasting all this energy. I mean, you're going to move around anyway, right?" Arnold explains, "Everyone who comes in the house puts on these rubber shoe covers I make in the garage. Then all you have to do is shuffle when you move around the house, and touch one of the plates when you feel like you have a full charge." The plates are within easy reach almost anywhere in the house. They transfer the charge to a central storage unit for later use. "There's even a plate at the head of each bed, for your nightly discharge," Arnold says proudly.
Even eight-year-old Terrance helps combat high-energy costs. "Dad lets me have friends over as much as I want. Sometimes, afterwards, we can even use the microwave for a few minutes." When asked if there was anything he didnt like about his new home Terrance said, "I miss Grandpa, he cant come over anymore because of his pacemaker." He also doesnt like his new bedtime prayer, which includes the line, 'Now I lay me down to sleep, help us all to scuff our feet.'
One strange side effect of the system is the small furry animals, predominately cats, clinging to the house like socks on a sweater. "That was just a happy coincidence," beams Arnold, now at work on a portable storage cell. "Not only do we not need to paint the house, but we hope to attract enough of them to act as an additional layer of insulation."
When asked for comment, Hilda Woldfeld repeatedly muttered "Help me, oh sweet Heaven, please help me." -- Disassociated Press
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